2007-04-03 - 9:57 p.m.
if there's one thing that i'm lacking in life, it's a GOOD FATHER.
i wish he'd left us a long time ago. like when before i was born. and that i never got the chance to acknowledge him as a father. and that i never knew about his existence. then maybe it wouldn't be so painful.
i hate feeling sad.
and can i just say something else? self-mutilation does not necessarily bring pleasure to everyone who's done it before. it just lightens the emotional load significantly. if you don't think so, give me a better solution then.
life has just slapped me in the face. with people like you telling me to buck up while i am so evidently busy like nobody's fucking business, naturally i wouldn't feel better about myself. so fuck you, seriously. you don't know how to handle this better than i do.
you don't mean nothing at all to me. so i'm just gonna make use of you.
